Real Life Issues: Weight

I've been struggling with weight issues since I was a child. This is documented in my baby book. There was a summer in my childhood when I went from being 69 pounds to being 96 pounds. As a child I can honestly not remember one person having an issue with it or showing concern. They may have and I am simply too young to remember or they just did not discuss it around me.

My yearly physical did not raise any red flags. I do not recall my doctor really caring about the weight gain at this stage in my life. Perhaps the people around me simply thought it was a phase. I'm speculating but perhaps they believed I would thin out as I got older.

This did not happen. I continued to gain weight all through my childhood and into my teens. In my teens until my early twenties I stayed pretty consistent in my weight. Sometimes it would fluctuate around ten pounds. Then in my twenties I had my first real painful break up and I sunk into a deep depression.

It was during this period that I stopped moving, stopped walking around for fun, stopped dancing etc. It was a time when I was staying still and eating really unhealthy. I gained 100 pounds during this period of time and it would take me years to take that weight off.

In 2016, I moved from New York to Wisconsin. This move changed my life in a lot of ways. I started drinking ice water instead of soda. I limited my snacks. I was moving more and becoming more active in general. This meant that I lost quite a bit of weight.

Over the years my weight would go up and down. Sometimes I would eat better than others. I would have periods of gain and loss. I was determined to lose weight on my own naturally. I wanted to be outside of a doctor's care to accomplish my goals.

Each time I would go to the doctor they would suggest surgery. It scared me to think about the surgery. I have friends who have had it. They both suffered so much after. There were complications for both of them. It made me concerned what would happen to me.

This all changed in 2021! I contacted the local weight loss center in my city. They told me that my insurance was fickle and that I had to start with seeing a nutrition specialist. I happily set up six months of appointments.

I just had my five month appointment and I am doing really well. The mental part of the experience is coming together. I am recognizing my triggers and starting to change my thought process when it comes to food. I have also started to consider motivation when it comes to eating, portion sizes and when/how I am eating. It has been a really enlightening experience for me.

Next month I complete my sixth month with the nutrition specialist. Then I will call and begin my surgery journey. I will spend the next year preparing via the local weight loss clinic's program. This means medical tests, learning to chew for longer and continuing the work I have already done.

I'm also being tested monthly for my sugar levels. This is to be up to date and prove that my Diabetes has impacted my overall health. It is a factor in why this surgery would be important for me. A couple of things health related are a concern. My nutrition specialist and my primary physician both believe I am prime candidate for the program/surgery.

I'm not looking forward to the year long process in the program. It will be hard work and take a lot of effort. I know that I can do it and I want to. It will just be an upward climb. In addition to that I am scared of the surgery itself. I am afraid that the pain after will be too much and I will be stuck in a healing body.

There is a part of myself that is very vain. I am scared about loose skin that will occur after surgery and weight loss. I know it will not be covered by insurance. That means I will have to save up in order to get the skin removal surgery that I will need.

Each time I begin to panic about it all my family and friends are there for me. They remind me to breathe. It is best to take it one step at a time. Right now I begin the medical testing and other requirements to get ready for surgery. Then I will take surgery and recovery. Next I will worry about the skin issues/fixes.

Everyone has a different weight. Everyone has a different struggle with their weight and body image. Remember that everyone is human and we are all struggling in our own ways. Be kind to others as you do not know their struggle.

With Love,


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